I Want Too Much. And That’s a Problem

In the place I come from, people often told: “Want much, get little.” It wasn’t some kind of supportive Slavic wisdom (slavs aren’t generally inclined to support one another)

In the place I come from, people often told: “Want much, get little.” It wasn’t some kind of supportive Slavic wisdom (slavs aren’t generally inclined to support one another). With this phrase, our parents would always painfully bring us children back down to earth if we suddenly started daydreaming.

I wasn’t satisfied with this state of affairs, so all my life I looked for confirmation that wanting a lot is good, that wanting a lot is useful. As it turned out, almost all of Western (mostly American) culture was built on this desire to have it all. This fired me up and inspired me. I gladly adopted this mindset for myself, soaking it in and hoping it would work for me too.

Years passed, the number of my desires grew, but with every new wish, I realize more clearly that the traumatic phrase from my childhood actually works better for me. There is no magic or sorcery here, there is a critical bug in our modern world, or perhaps in our very nature.

What do I want?

I really do want a lot. See for yourself:

I want to finish the book I’ve been writing for 12 years.

I want to relaunch my career.

I have many ideas for Notion templates that I want to implement.

I have three ideas for new projects and startups that I want to try and launch.

I want to start a YouTube channel and show everyone the world as I see it.

I want to learn to play the electric guitar.

My bookshelf can no longer hold everything I want to read, and my “watch later” movie list exceeds the lifespan of the universe in total runtime.

This list is constantly growing, but the larger it gets, the fewer items are crossed off.

I am not lazy, nor am I a procrastinator. I don’t just “want”; I work 10 hours every day. I’ve been doing this for years, but my progress in each of these directions is so negligible that it’s easier to say it doesn’t exist. I try to take a step in every direction, but I don’t even get close to a single goal; I am simply being torn to pieces by an unnaturally high internal tension. There are only 24 hours in my day (likely the same as yours), but in that time, I need to manage to move forward for real, even if just a little. It can’t go on like this.

What to do about it?

Recently, I discovered Essentialism (thanks to the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown). Its essence is that you must give up everything unimportant and secondary, focusing only on what truly matters - that’s the idea and the theory. I am trying to practice this approach using the app MyTao: One goal at a time.

The core principles of Essentialism:

The Art of Focus: The essentialist looks for the most important thing and discards everything else.

Deliberate Choice: Instead of trying to do everything, a person chooses where to invest their time and energy.

The Ability to Say “No”: Rejecting unimportant tasks for the sake of being able to say “yes” (always say yes, they said) to what is truly a priority.

The Principle of “Less but Better”: This isn’t about how to get more things done, but how to do only the right things.

The difference between an Essentialist and a Non-essentialist:

A Non-essentialist thinks that “everything is important,” “I have to do this,” and “I can do it all.” An Essentialist believes that “almost everything is noise,” “I choose what to do,” and “I can do anything, but not everything.”

This approach helps avoid burnout and achieve greater success by directing all efforts toward a narrow circle of key goals.

What has Essentialism given me?

I managed to make progress on several tasks that had sat untouched for months.

It showed me in practice that multitasking is a myth. No matter how much you believe in yourself, constant task-switching, distractions, and keeping multiple goals in your head only slow you down.

As it turns out, it is very difficult to immerse yourself in solving one big task if the monkey in your head is juggling ten others. Yes, you can perform several tasks at once, but each will be of mediocre quality at best, without sufficient depth or a strong creative component. For some tasks, that’s enough, but not for all.

The first results show that Essentialism works. If you focus on one goal, you move forward much faster than you think. In three days, I resolved a dozen tasks that I had been putting off for four months. However, the sheer number of them in the backlog is still scary as hell.

I also realized that I can’t master everything on my own. I wanted to be a “one-man army” who could do everything solo, but it turned out to be impossible. SEO, ASO, development, design, planning, implementation, sales, meetings, certifications - everything in our world has become so complex that you can no longer manage alone. You need to look for people or tools to whom you can delegate certain tasks.

FOMO. Now I am afraid of missing out on everything. I see the list of my desires, I see how I am crossing them out or postponing them indefinitely (likely forever), and I am gripped by panic that I will never be able to fulfill them. When I was grabbing at everything at once, I had at least an illusory hope and a deceptive feeling that I was getting closer to them. Now, my soul bleeds from the realization that not everything is within my control.

The whole world, in its (often toxic) positivity, teaches us that we can achieve anything, be anyone, and get everything we want. It gives us ideas, gives us tools, and shows us the way. We are just about to touch the desired goal. And this same world uses all its distractions at full blast to keep you from getting any closer to your dreams. All that remains is to make a choice and find your own path.

I would be very interested to know how you handle fulfilling your dreams. Have you found “that one” solution? Care to share?

Yours,

Leon